When The Truth Has Nowhere to Land

14th June 2025

There are moments where the need to speak feels like fire under my skin.

It's not about attention.  It's not about revenge.  It's about truth.

And the unbearable weight of watching people walk past it — or worse, pretend it isn’t there.

I don’t want to feel desperate, but sometimes I do.

Not because Im unhinged or unstable, but because I've watched people protect systems over children.  I've seen silence passed off as professionalism.  I've seen calm faces cover cowardice.  And I've seen my voice — our voice — dismissed like it was never even spoken.

What do you do with all that?

When even the thought of attending a meeting sends your heart racing — not because you're afraid of speaking out, but because you know you probably wont be allowed to. 

Because you know they’ll find a way to shut you down, again.

And you'll walk out the door holding the same truth you walked in with, except now its heavier, lonelier, more exhausted from being carried.

I don’t want to be desperate.

I want to be heard.

I want someone in this community — anyone — to understand what happened.  To know that it wasn’t nothing.  That CIW had to submit a MARF because the setting didn’t.  That we weren’t overreacting.  That we were fighting for our daughters safety when others wouldn’t.

But I also know I can't keep throwing myself into spaces that are already closed to me.

So, I'm stepping back.

Not because I've given up — but because I'm done begging for permission to speak.

I'll find another way.

A quieter way, maybe.

But a way that’s mine.

Because the truth hasn’t disappeared.

Its just waiting for the right place to land.

And this — this is where it begins.